I hesitate to say anything. This is me. I want to be free and open. I know people are nosey and I really don't care but I also don't want to look like a fool.
I have struggled with certain "issues" my entire life.
STRING THEORY - Quantum field theory...I'm watching "Flight from Darkness: A Bipolar Disorder Documentary. String theory has 10 dimensions. I believe in string theory. I'm remembering this radio broadcast something on NPR that talked about how a cell was split in two and one half was sent across the country or further and when one side was stimulated that other half also acted as though it were receiving the same stimulation. That tells me.......I can't even go into it.
I long for companionship. There's nothing wrong with that. I struggle to stay positive. I have many of the things I have always wanted. I have fur kids who love me immensely!! I have free cable TV. I could be watching that now. I think I will. Today is so damn cold in this building. Thank God I brought my earbuds. I can listen to "I Got You." That song does something to my soul. It's the music in the beginning then the way she says youuuuuuuuuu. I wish someone had me. There is one person but it's an odd sort of thing. I deserve more.
I don't know what I want...I do but I don't have it and fear I'll never have it so I want to give up on everything. I guess I should just continue to live day by day. Minute by minute. That is all we have minutes. Each minute. Nothing more. I want someone to love me.
