Men of God 

• Elena Accurso-Metz

  Sorry I don’t do happy

  

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  Tawn Singh

  I OFTEN hold so tightly to my emotions!!! WHEN people EXPECT or are looking for my reaction, I give none......last night on the job, a customer left something terrifying to most people at their front door! Thank goodness I saw it and inside I just thought it was so horrible and it pissed me off!!! Someone could see what they left, notice how I won't say what it was because I learned a LONG time ago, don't tell people what you are afraid of because they WILL use it against you! I thought about calling the boss or leaving the boss a text!!! It's one thing to be a person especially a woman alone working at 2 a.m. in the morning but to have a person DELIBERATELY leave something under their mat at their front door that they KNOW will terrify someone because it's unexpected and most people are terrified of that, it's evil not FUNNY! I did call the person and I told them about the item at the door and told them some people are "deathly afraid." A person could REALLY have a heart attack at being shocked like that! The person sounded really young and said it was "fake." What kind of person does that!!! I did tell two people inside work & they just got a look on their face, but no one cared!!! Well I care, I'm going to let it go........ I KNOW the person left it because they wanted people to scream and have a reaction....I gave them none. (2) I also have a hard time with emotion or "love." I'm not all lovely dovery, or when I am it's during inappropriate times!!! Or with people who don't DESERVE it!!! Like someone who is ONLY after sex & I will probably never see again, if they say they love me, which people have, I say it and can "mean" it!!! I have been talking to this person for over a year and they tell me "everything I'd want to hear." But I feel I treat them bad!!! I just can't do the lovey dovery stuff even though I do WANT someone to really love me, be devoted and care! Maybe I should do like you and just fake it!!! For their sake!!!! I will never forget. Joan Rivers said her mother told her to "find someone who cares about you MORE than YOU care about them!" She said that's because they will be wondering where YOU are and you..won't feel that way! I can see the "logic" in it! I do think Joan loved "Edgar." She had her daughter Melissa, but I totally see the logic in choosing a partner that way! I think people make a huge mistake when they "fall in love" like people normally do! I've always thought if you pick someone who at least is going to come home to you every night, pay their share or most of the bills, and is faithful, perhaps, I'd be able to live with that!